Feeling Pretty White Bread

Since I started college, I’d always pride myself on my diverse group of friends. One night, a bunch of us went out to Ihop. We took a look around and realized that we pretty much look like the United Nations.

Another time, years later, a small group of us was hanging out, engaging in shenanigans. One of our newer friends, a white guy, looked around and said, “Man. You guys make me feel pretty white bread.”

I looked around, and I realized I was the only black friend – black as in, not mixed.

All of my biracial and multiracial friends are beautiful and come from interesting families. Thinking of it that way, it’s kind of hard not to feel like a ho-hum plain Jane.

I mean, take ice cream, for example. I always opt for the most delicious mixes of flavor.

But I have to remember that vanilla and chocolate are still classic flavors.

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Rainbows! Rainbows everywhere!

Man, it’s been a “horrible, no good, very bad week” for conservatives, huh? Just take a look at this article.

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But today truly is a day to celebrate. I was starting to think it would never come. The U.S. is now the 21st country to legalize same-sex marriage – took us long enough. But, what took so long? Why were people so afraid of and offended by homosexuality that they would deny them the right to marry?

Sure, people cite the Bible as evidence in their arguments against gay marriage – and I agree that churches should not be forced to do anything against their respective belief systems – but if you’re going to follow the Old Testament, I hope you’re also abstaining from pork and killing people who work on Sundays. In any case, people tend to leave out one important bit of information: Christianity didn’t create marriage. It existed long before the advent of Christianity. So, if you’re a champion of “traditional marriage,” I hope you conduct your weddings pagan style.

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Others oppose gay marriage because it would lead to people marrying animals, and it would turn children gay, and good heavens! We wouldn’t want that, would we?

‘Kay, look. First of all, I don’t know what you’re smoking that makes you believe you can talk with animals, but animals can’t give consent. Adult humans can. Therefore, adult homosexual individuals who love each other have the right to marry. Animals? Not so much. And I’m pretty sure they don’t care…

Secondly, you can’t “turn” people gay. And you can’t “choose” to be gay. Believe me, I’ve tried to change my sexuality. I’m heterosexual, but I tried so hard to be asexual because I was sick of being hurt by guys. And there were times when girls hit on me, even as guys rejected me, and if I could, I would have just made myself gay. But, you know, vagina’s not my cup of tea. It never was, never will be. Many people I’m close with are LGBT. You’d think they would have influenced, or “recruited,” me ages ago. Doesn’t work that way.

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Likewise, a gay person can’t just turn straight. Let me put it this way: Some people are left-handed; most are right-handed. We don’t know why. It just is what it is.

So accept it. If you’re not LGBT, then this decision does not affect you. If I eat a cupcake, you won’t get fat. Etc, etc.

Take time to celebrate. Love wins! LOVE wins today. What poor soul is too blind to see how beautiful that is? You know what this reminds me of? The last time love overcame hate and ignorance:

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Look familiar?

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Why, yes. Yes it does.

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I have friends, cousins, and siblings who can marry whomever they want, anywhere in the country. Their happiness is my happiness. When I heard the news, I was off-my-rocker ecstatic, and I’m straight.

You know something, though. I have been quite invested in this struggle not only because many people I love are LGBT, but because had I lived 50 years ago, this same kind of hate and ignorance would have affected me, too.

My very first serious relationship was with a white guy. We planned on getting married – it was pretty much a given. His family made me feel at home. And during this war on the gay agenda, I couldn’t help thinking it was history repeating itself. What if I couldn’t marry the person I loved just because someone else didn’t like it? Someone I didn’t know, someone who had zero effect on my life. Someone who didn’t want me to marry just because they thought interracial marriage was wrong because it was Communism and the Bible said so.

We weren’t hurting anyone. We just loved each other, just like same-race couples do. Likewise, LGBT couples love each other, they fight, they make up, they go grocery shopping, some want kids, and they all just want to live their lives. We’re people. We’re human. We’re consenting adults. And it took a long time – too long – but we’re here. Love has made history yet again.

Way to go, ‘Murika. Every once in a blue moon, you do something right.

But we’ve still got a long way to go. Here’s a list of things the LGBT community and their straight allies still need to fight for.

But for now, let’s celebrate this victory! 😀 Have some rainbow cake.

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Guest Post: “I’m a Unicorn Princess! The experiences of being an awkward halfie”

Extra, extra!
A good friend of mine, Weslee, wanted to write a guest post about being an awkward biracial girl. In fact, she prefers be to identified as “Unicorn.” These are her tales:

  • When I was little, and a child didn’t know me, they would ask, “Where’s that little black girl at?”
  • Not only was there the normal not-fitting-in school stuff, but then I never really fit in with anyone. The white people don’t really get you, and the Mexican people don’t really either. I remember all the Mexican girls hanging out together in middle school, but they wouldn’t hang out with because apparently I wasn’t Mexican enough or something?
  • I remember going to a Middle Eastern store and having the staff be really chatty and friendly with me until they found out I am not Middle Eastern. I was suddenly in the midst of a bunch of awkward silence, and service in their store was flat out refused.
  • “Are you Chinese?”
  • “You’re Mexican? You don’t look Mexican.”
  • “I thought Mexicans were brown.”
  • “Yeah Mexicans don’t have freckles.” (As I got older, I had less time to play in the sun, so my year-round brown went away.)
  • “Are you Italian?”
  • “You’re a white person”
  • When filling out forms or taking tests: “Please choose your race.” What am I?!?!?!?! I don’t see the option for Unicorn Princess.

I had some similar experiences. I’m obviously and most decidedly black, but because I was smart and into other cultures and different music, I was never quite “black enough” for the black kids at my schools. Likewise, until college, the white students were iffy about me as well. Until college, I didn’t have much experience with Asian students, either – the ones that I encountered were in the gifted program with me, but they only hung out with each other and spoke Chinese. Alas.

But it’s okay. Weslee and I – and people like us – are united by art, awkwardness, and love of all things Japanese.